2 People I would like to meet

Have you ever had to answer that question when interviewed or at some random ice breaking moment "so who is one person you want to meet?" My two are two moms. I would love to meet Tim Tebow's mom and Ryan Hall's mom. Now before you go running off thinking this is some crazy post about the Gators, hold on, it is not.
These two women have raised amazing young men. Each time these young men are interviewed, they talk openly about their love for the Lord, their desire to do all things so that He may be glorified and the fact that their mother's instilled this belief in them. Often you see athletes thank God for things, but very seldom with the passion and conviction of these two young men. Not only do they talk the talk but they walk the walk. Tebow spends summer months on mission trips, off season weekends witnessing in prisons, teaching bible studies and leading prayer groups off the fiels. Hall in an article in Runner's World magazine prior to the Olympics talked openly about his faith and his decision to run for God, to never allow training or competing to interfere with his worship time and his desire not just to win but to further God's message through it.

Both men talk openly about how their mother's homeschooled them, taught them scripture, gave them a biblical worldview even when the world tried to do otherwise. Both men talk about the value their mother's placed on learning God's word and making it the center of their family. Both men talk about how God came first, sports came second. One of my favorite quotes by Tebow on the night he was about to win the most coveted trophy in college football, The Heisman, was "My Faith is first, My family second, My schoolwork third and Football fourth". He had an entire nation watching and chose to use this time to speak his absolute truth, God.
I am compelled to write this post because sometimes it is just plain hard to be a mom, a stay at home, home schooling mom.. constantly wondering if all the words of wisdom and love you speak daily are heard and learned. Knowing that the fruits of today's labors will not be seen for many years to come...
so for now, I want to meet these moms, to know how they did it and to have that daily reminder of what greatness looks like.

Missing a Miracle

I think too often we are too busy looking for miracles that we often miss the ones he lays right in our lap. It reminds of that game we used to play with my dad, where he would hide something in plain sight but we were too busy searching for it in tiny places and dark spaces that we would miss it entirely. I believe this happens to us often with God. We are so caught up in what we want him to do now and when we want it that we often miss his best parenting. Last week I prayed so hard for him to work a miracle and keep our unborn child safe and strong. I prayed so hard for this that when it did not happen I was stunned, shocked and angry. When they told me about this mass on my ovary, I was too busy crying over our lost child, that I completely overlooked the work he was doing. My best friend, Pam, reminded me ever so gently on Monday after a clean report from the doctor to remember that God is in the business of healing and miracles. It is true, I saw the ultrasound, I heard the doctors whispers and their tones of concern that Friday afternoon. What I missed was the obvious work God had done over the weekend to heal my sadness of a loss and the possibility of a grim future. He removed the mass without taking credit, without some big show, just an act of enduring faith. Don't miss it...

Hope...

I had hoped to be writing this post to share our news of a new life and heartbeat that God had breathed into my womb... I had hoped to post a picture of the little heartbeat we anxiously awaited... I had hoped to share the incredible story of how God delivered the news of a new blessing in our family the day before the baby we lost was due to be born... I had hoped to celebrate my 33 birthday yesterday with a group of friends that have ushered me along this journey back to life after a time of grief...
Hope was replaced by despair yesterday... Today, I want to feel hopeless... we have lost another life. We have been told there is an unexplained mass behind my ovary, we have been told there is unexplained fluid in my pelvic area...we are told we have to wait until Monday morning for answers... so now we wait... wait in what anger? confusion? terror? feelings that have been flowing over in tears all day and night for the past 24 hours.
But again, now amidst the rain and the tears, hope is there. Hope that is directed by faith. I am writing now out of faith. My hope is now faith. I have faith that my God is not going to take this pain away from me or this process or these feelings away from me, I have faith he is going to take my hand and walk me right through it. I have faith he is going to hold my hand as I pen another line in my testimony that will one day be shared to reveal his glory. I have faith that even through all my anger and unrest at him, he will stand firm in his love for me as I continually crawl back into his arms for comfort. I have faith that one day I will enter heaven and will now have two children who never had to experience the pains of sin or this fallen world waiting for me with shouts and coos of "mommy". I have faith that again I will hope...because God is hope.