Faith in Real Life

So many times I have said "Put your faith in the Lord", " This is God's will you have to have faith", " God knows what he is doing, trust him, have faith". Easier said than done. We had an ultrasound today and were slapped with a big dose of reality. No heartbeat, what? a possible nonviable pregnancy? As we sit in no man's land and wait... wait until next week when we will try again to see a heartbeat... I am left with time to really lean on my faith. We have tried to get pregnant four times and have gotten pregnanat four times, we have had three healthy, beautiful babies...and now a big fat speed bump in my little plan. Now it is time for me to not only Believe in God, but Believe God (as our awesome pastor, Dan Plourde puts it). Yes, I must dig in, and throw all I have at having faith. The way I see it is, God creates life, he decides what to do with each life and as hard as it may be to accept, he may decide this little life is going to be with him before we meet it in heaven. I also believe God gave us this perfect body to create life and he designed it so it does what it must if that process is not viable. Grief is still a part of the process and I am sure we will feel it, if in fact we have to face this next week, but growth will come with it. So my hope in all of this is I will grow, I will be able to have an even more convicted heart the next time I counsel someone to have more faith. Because without it, where do you turn? It feels good to know I can have faith in Him and he will take care of this. It feels good to know I have no control over this. If feels good to know... it just feels good to know God.