Tuesday, March 4, 2008
A little help from my friends
So tomorrow is our ultrasound. And I am confused...I have been praying for a week. But I am in constant limbo as to what to pray for. I know it sounds silly, trivial, ect but what do I pray for? I feel like I want to ask God to provide life, to make this pregnancy viable, to show his glory, his power through all of this. But am I asking for what I want or his will? Should I be praying for wisdom to know that he has a plan for this life inside? Should I be praying for peace in allowing him to do his will? Should I pray that he give us strength to get throuh this? I know the answer is yes, but then I feel like I have given up... and not given God credit that he can still breathe life into my baby. Almost like dont want to ask because I dont trust that it can be done. I am so confused! Do I ask for what I want and have faith that he does it? That sounds selfish. Or do I ask for what I think is right? That seems fake and transparent at best. How do I pray right now? I guess I just pray...and have faith God knows what he is doing and that I just need to pray he will allow me grow from this. Is that right?
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2 comments:
I know it might not help a lot, but praying exactly what you just wrote I think is what you need to be praying. Ask God for what you want and tell him your frustrations and how you're really feeling, whatever that is. If you look to the Psalms for an example you'll see David writing his frustrations, asking God for vengeance (what he wants to happen) and also for God's complete will to happen. I totally understand the whole feeling fake and everything and even the whole not having trust. From what I've learned, I feel best when I tell God just that, that I'm feeling fake and that I don't have enough trust and faith. God always answered me with peace (in the midst of the pain) and faith. Just telling God you're having a hard time often makes it easier, at least for me. I'll be praying for you!
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from russia with love,
the goeppners
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