Eureka

We have been waiting for a few days to hear this word... it has never come! One of the kindest guys from our church, Art Perry, has been working his tail off trying to find a leak in our pool! He has swam, drilled, ( I am sure prayed), listened, enlisted friends and endless other things to find the lost leak... but to no avail. We have a small wading pool now, a great place to breed some frogs but no cure for the leak. Art is our new hero... he tried super hard and we really appreciate him. It is nice to see someone really do their best when doing their job, always with a smile and a sincere attitude. Even though we still don't know where the leak is and our neighborhood pond and surrounding grass look great, we got to know someone that show's God's heart without being all watered down! Thanks Art!

Car Racing

We went on a small adventure Saturday night. We took the boys to a Formula One Car Race at the Homestead Speedway. I have always been one to bash car racing. I have always said "it is not a sport ". Well after being their this weekend, I am still not 100% convinced it is a sport in the traditional aspect but I will say those guys (and girls) are pretty amazing. We arrived about a 1/2 hour early and went straight to our seats. On the way in, I was blown away by how many people were there and how many of them were "FANatics". I have grown up a Gator Fan, I bleed orange and blue, we have fans like no others, but these people were over the top! After all the hoopla of introducint sponsors and drivers, they announcer called for the drivers to start their engines... Pace jumped a few feet at the start of the noise and immediately begged to go home. Lucky for us, my dad had received sky box passes so he was able to sit inside and watch. Dash, Trent and I stuck in the ear plugs and anxiously awaited the flag. Once they were off, it was amazing. The cars raced around that track in excess of 225 mph! You cant even look at them straight on. Their were crashes, near misses and lots of swerving. Dash didnt move for over an hour (this is a first!!!!). The pit crews were awesome, they changed tires and I am sure did a whole lot more in less time it took me to figure out which car was in the pit ( I wish Stewart Toyota could train from them). By the time it was over, we were exhausted. Mainly from just trying to figure out who was in what position and which car was which. Overall, it was a blast. We had a great night as a family, saw a new "sport" and had some time for Dash to actually sit!

Pictures

It is so hard to get a photo of three kiddos under 5 where they all look good at the same time! One will inevitably be pouting, crying or pulling someone else. I tried a different approach, perch them up on a table, where no one can get down, move or lean on someone else. Also, I loaded them with Easter Candy and then held their baskets ransom until they smiled. Seems it worked!

Being Sick

According to my calculations... I have slept an average of 5 hours per night , no longer than 2 hours at a time for the past 2 weeks, spent $800.00 on co-pays, perscriptions, supplies and over the counter meds, gone through 3 boxes of kleenex, 2 bottles of anitbacterial hand gel, cleaned my hands too many times to keep track, whiped runny noses over 200 times, checked temps in 5 sets of ears, cried repeatedly from exhaustion into my best friend's ear, saw 4 doctors in 5 days, andswore off ever going into a public place again.
We have been sick! Although, the D&C does not count as an illness, it still required mom to be off her feet and visits (money spent) to the doctors. This was followed by Dad getting hit by the B strain flu, 6 days of high fever and bedrest so I had to play single mom. While dad was down and out, Pace and Scout were hit hard with nasty head and chest colds that required nebulizer treatments, antibiotics and lots of kleenex. Just when we thought the tide was turning, Dash came down with 104.8 fever and a quick trip to the Dr. Lucky for us dr did a nose swab found it was HiB (HB influenza- super name for B strain flu) which carries 4-7 days of high fever, high risk of pnuemonia and upper respitory infection. Only problem was that the only one to have the flu already was dad, so Pace, Scout and I were left as targets. Off to the pharmacy for trip #4 to pick up Tamiflu for us three to prevent us from getting it. Dash rounds the corner, after a few scary moments... we actually got to hunt eggs and then mom comes down with sore throat, itchy eyes and a terrible head cold! AAHH, not to mention a little infection from the procedure we had a few weeks ago... back to the pharmacy and bed for mom.
Finally, it looks like we see the light at the end of the tunnel! We may be out of quarantine tomorrow! I can put up the clorox, kleenex and thermometer. Sounds like a downer huh? You know what though, I am blessed that we have a light at the end of the tunnel... makes me think about those parents who have children fighting sickness that doesn't get better with a whipe of the nose and a dose of antibiotics. Parents who stay up all night next to their child's hospital bed. Parents that would give anything to have one more day with their child. Being sick stinks, but being sick also makes you realize it how precious life is and how truly blessed we are when the ones we love get better!

This is War!

I am in a battle! And pictured is the carnage, the damage done. My enemy is the Sock Monster. He has some super secret guerilla warfare style of taking one sock hostage. I have tried to offer up matching socks in return for the missing sock to my favorite pairs but he is relentless. No matter my systerm, the monster always strikes again. I have an endless pile of poor, useless, one sock wonders! Every time I do laundry, I get a knot as I fold the last bib, roll the last set of PJs, hang the last shirt... because I know looming at the bottom of the hamper is the lastest victim of this evil creature!! How do I defeat him? Look what he has done! Help... anyone?

Visions of Sugar Plums...

AHH, night time, sleep time. Some of the best moments of parenthood are when your children are sleeping. Most people would think that this is the best time because you get a break, you get some time to yourself etc, while this is true, this is not the main reason this precious time is the best. It is because it allows you to see them in a time of peace, when you can just sit and pray over them. A time when you can reflect on all the lessons you tried to pour into their little heads and hearts. Some lessons a failure, some lessons that wont bear fruit for many years, some lessons that cause them to stare at you in wonder, some lessons that make you think "I am turning into my mother". A time when you can just stare in awe at this blessing God entrusted you with. A time when you marvel at how big they are getting and you wonder where did the time go? A time when you worry about the heartbreaks, failures, pain and hurt they will endure. A time when you hope about their successes, spouses, families and dreams. A time when you just know God has done a work no other could do, a time when you know God gave you these specific children, because only you can raise them for him. A time when you know God is so good at being God! When your children sleep, everything becomes so quiet and during those moments, you see things with eyes wide open...

Absence makes the Heart Grow Fonder

There is one day that is just depressing! Depressing!!!. The day after the BCS national title game. It means that college football season is over! For the past few years we have at least had basketball season to look forward to, but not this year. It was not unexpected with 5 starters gone, but there was a glimmer of hope in the first half of the season. Well, after last nights lack luster performance, what next? a whole 5 months of nothing but golf, baseball, car racing and hot, humid days! At least it will give me time to read all my gator sports pages! There are two rays of light in all of this: 1. we will get to beat, I mean demolish UM in the beginning of the season which will give us bragging rights for more than a year! 2. the national title game is in Miami, so we wont be traveling far to see the Gators bring home another cup to add to the collection. oh and 3. we will get to beat up on the wildcats (not that this is much fun, Lyndsey and JDUB) so we will have a fun time blogging....
I guess the lesson in the next few months is good things come to those who wait. GO GATORS!!!

This is scary

We are doing a course right now by Dr. Voddie Baucham on "The Everloving Truth". Through this course, Dr. Baucham teaches you about what the bible says in regards to defending biblical truth. Unfortunately, we live in a world where society is trying to redefine Christianity. We are called as Christians to not only believe the bible, but to make sure we defend the faith in world that is constantly trying to rewrite it. In Jude, we are warned of "certain persons have crept in unnoticed, those who were long beforehand marked out for this condemnation, ungodly persons who turn the grace or our God into licentiousness and deny our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ". After reading this passage, I came across an email about a class Oprah is offering on a book called "The New Earth". You can read about it here. See anything that we are called to defend?

How innocent they are!

Two days ago when I was in tears, Pace asked why I was crying so much. I sat him on my lap and explained that I was very sad because the baby in my belly that God had given us had died. But that I was also very happy because God had taken that baby to heaven and one day mommy would get to see that baby again. He listened, asked a few questions, and then was on his way. Last night when we were at dinner with Trent's parents, Cakes asked how Scout was. (Scout has been at my parents in Miami where she is super spoiled). I replied " Oh, she is great, she is in heaven". Pace instantly broke into tears! I asked him whatever was the matter. He said "Oh mommy, Scout went to Heaven too? She is gone forever too?" My little man, so innocent in his thoughts could not understand how Scout could be in Heaven, when really I was just trying to explain that she was having a great time at grandmas! These are the reasons we smile!

A new chapter

The past 48 hours have been a rollercoaster ride of emotions. We have gone from overwhelming grief to true peace and acceptance with every emotion in between. I have been thinking for the past few hours what to post...so here it goes. I was connected to this baby from day one, I imagined what it was going to look like, what it was going to be when it grew up, how it was going to fit in our family, names, personality ect. I loved this baby whole heartedly. For the past week leading up to this, I wanted so badly for my prayers for life to be answered. But I was so confident that if it was not answered I would feel God's big strong arms embrace me and I would not be sad because I knew he was in control. Oh, how wrong I was! My heart was shattered Tuesday night when we started to lose the baby. I felt angry and abandoned. I was in disbelief this was really happening. I went to bed praying for this to be a mistake, for me to wake up and walk into our OBs office, to climb up on the table and prove everyone wrong. When I woke up, I knew it was over. After meeting with our doctor and scheduling our DNC, we drove over to our church, Calvary Chapel Jupiter, to meet with our pastor. He spoke so much wisdom and peace into our hearts ,we will be forever greatful. We love this man, he shared with us how much God loves us and how as Paul wrote we will grieve but not like those without hope. He spoke to us about how the hope is one day we will meet this child in Heaven, our child never had to experience the sins of this fallen world but only the love of our Lord. He showed us that God has not punished us or taken this baby to teach us some quirky lesson. God did not answer our prayer the way we wanted it answered but he is holding us closely through it all. Dan, prayed over us and truly started our healing process. Amazingly, as we left, I started to see how God was there and how he had answered many prayers some I didn't even know I needed. Today was very sad, we lost a child, our child. That chapter is finished. We are ready to start the next one.But today is also a celebration, we have a child in Heaven and we have hope... hope that only comes through our Heavenly father, the giver of love and life.

A little help from my friends

So tomorrow is our ultrasound. And I am confused...I have been praying for a week. But I am in constant limbo as to what to pray for. I know it sounds silly, trivial, ect but what do I pray for? I feel like I want to ask God to provide life, to make this pregnancy viable, to show his glory, his power through all of this. But am I asking for what I want or his will? Should I be praying for wisdom to know that he has a plan for this life inside? Should I be praying for peace in allowing him to do his will? Should I pray that he give us strength to get throuh this? I know the answer is yes, but then I feel like I have given up... and not given God credit that he can still breathe life into my baby. Almost like dont want to ask because I dont trust that it can be done. I am so confused! Do I ask for what I want and have faith that he does it? That sounds selfish. Or do I ask for what I think is right? That seems fake and transparent at best. How do I pray right now? I guess I just pray...and have faith God knows what he is doing and that I just need to pray he will allow me grow from this. Is that right?

I am full up to here...

I remember when I was little and would say " I am so full, I am full up to here" I would point to my nose. Then I would announce, " I have just this much room for dessert". That is kind what seems to happan nightly at our house. There are a few rules; you taste everything on your plate, eat your veggies, and no complaining about mom's cooking. It always seems that my kids are so full, cant take another bite, they even try to act like they are gagging if they eat one more bite. But wait! Dessert is then announced and suddenly they have plenty of room in their tummies. They are only full, I suppose to their nose. Now, I know I should stand firm, deny them dessert until every last crumb is eaten since there are starving kids all over the world. But, when we are able to get photo like this and a smile that says it all... well dessert just seems like... the thing to fill them up!

One Amazing Man...

So we went camping with two couples that are great friends of ours. It was great. We celebrated Ron's birthday with a cake, camping style. The kids got filthy, trampled through the woods, ran around like maniacs and loved every minute of it! The mommy's took anyone under two home after dinner, a bear hunt and smores. So the dad's had night duty! I just think it is so cool that God has blessed me with such an amazing man. Trent is an incredible dad. He spends as much time as he can with our children. He just loves being with them. He works his tail off all day and then comes home and instantly turns into dad mode: playing outside on the bikes, being a monster for them, taking them to the park, he bathes them, reads to them, puts them to bed. On the weekends, his family comes first. I watch our children and they love daddy. They are learning how to do many things from him, but most of all they are secure in their father's love and are learning about God's love through Trent. I just love this man!God really blessed me with this one!